Speaking of Bugs



All Things Creepy

Of all God’s creatures that slither, crawl or fly one has to wonder about the reason for earwigs.

Most other revolting critters can be justified as having a distinct purpose in the environmental scheme of things-but earwigs?

Mosquitoes for example, although annoying and carriers of disease around the world actually provide a food source for more advanced life like bats, which occupy their own place on the list of creepy.

Worms, grubs, and even leeches although ugly and slimy looking score considerably higher on my “good” list due to their position in the food chain and potential as fishing bait.

But why earwigs?

It seems they were a gift from our European ancestors, no doubt hitching a ride with the thousands of immigrants who arrived in the early 20th Century.

Their name comes from the belief that they burrowed into your brain through the ear canal while you slept and in the process, caused various degrees of madness. Not true of course but it could explain the state of European politics.

I’m usually pretty good natured about well, nature-even earwigs. They have the whole world in which to roam while I reign supreme inside the walls of 1400 square feet with a finished basement, close to schools and shopping. In other words-my home.

Other than providing a character for Disney movies and Eddie Murphy I see no reason whatsoever for these nasty, ugly, invasive creatures to exist.

They don’t knock or call ahead. They just crawl in-everywhere.

Nothing can be more surprising or disgusting than finding one of these little buggers appear suddenly at breakfast or to open a cabinet door and find one hiding inside.

Experts  claim that they don’t bite but they do have those pinchers or scientifically speaking, “pincers,” and they do “pince” if you happen to be in their space which it seems, is everywhere.

They usually show up during the months of July and August like relatives at the cottage, moving in from the crowded mulch beds that we spent all that time and money to create around the house and gardens.

They hide in rolls of bath tissue, paper towels and under rugs.

When you least expect it one will be found  “hanging out” on the shower curtain. Yeah, my wife hates ‘em too.

I’ve crushed ’em, flushed ’em, and sent them to bug heaven in the garbage disposal but their relentless pursuit of my contentment rages on.

While I dislike the use of chemical controls, that method of deterrent is still on the table-literally. Maybe I could encapsulate a half acre and fumigate the whole thing.

I have however, learned that earwigs have several natural predators that might be helpful. Birds, toads, lizards, assassin bugs, centipedes and spiders all find the disgusting little creatures to be quite the delicacy.

Maybe I’ll invite them in.