Pilates No More

Move Over, Pilates

Doc says I need to exercise more and lose some weight.

More? I get plenty of exercise.

Like when I forget my keys upstairs and have to run back for them. Or my wallet, or a dozen other things I misplace during the day and have to go back and retrieve them.

Or when I put something down to pick up the thing I forgot….it’s a vicious cycle.

There was the time I drove thirty miles back for tickets left at home.

Not much exercise to be had but my heart rate did get up there for awhile.

Likewise when looking for something in the clutter of my office.

Lots of pacing and swearing but I don’t think that counts.

Let’s see, two flights of stairs from office to bedroom. Twenty-six steps in all. I only have to forget three or four items a day and I’ve climbed enough to tackle Mount Everest.

It’s not that I’m forgetful, just busy.

My coffee maker is in the kitchen upstairs which means four to six more trips up and down with another one or two to find my phone left lying on the counter.

Added to that, two trips to the mailbox, one to look for a royalty check and another to make sure that the US Mail didn’t forget (guess I have to sell something first).

Then there are meals, up one flight x 3 plus a nap (two flights up).

Probably forget the phone again.

Researchers tell me that each step going up burns .17 calories while a step down takes care of another .o5 calories.

At that rate I would have to do about one thousand two hundred forty-five steps to cancel out  the handful of chips I grabbed on the way back from my nap.

Still, some consider stair climbing to be “vigorous” exercise.

Works for me.

Then there’s that list thing.

After being chided by my wife to make a list before going to the store I have finally done it. Then while entering the store I realize that I forgot the list. Forty yards to the store, back to the car and race home, returning to do it all over again. That’s exercise.

There is a reported connection between obesity and memory loss.

Experts say being overweight can lead to poor memory but that is precisely the way I get more exercise.

So now I have to  choose between losing weight in order to help remember things or rely on my poor memory to help lose weight.

Now, where was I?